All Saints brings "Christmas to the Asylum" in Apple Valley

Hidden in California’s High Desert, along the lonesome trek from Los Angeles to Las Vegas, is Apple Valley; and while Apple Valley may be out of the way for some, it is home to All Saints Lunatic Asylum. This haunted house is one of the purest, most charming experiences of the season. All Saints is no stranger to seasonal events either, having staged epic Easter egg hunts inside their walls during April, so it’s no surprise that they threw open their doors this holiday season for a special Christmas haunt.

Located in a modest storefront, past its ordinary glass doors, the interior is instantly transformed with Christmas fear. An old-fashioned caretaker mans the front desk and guestbook, alternating between ordering inmates to behave and yelling to the interior–informing them of the fresh meat about to enter.

As old-fashioned as the caretakers are the scares themselves, and while that may sound backhanded, it’s refreshing to see a pure, simple, classic haunted house. A rickety elevator kicks off the proceedings, before guests are introduced to a bevy of characters. Krampuses and creatures abound, but it’s the humans that steal the show at All Saints, including a pair of identical twins, cooking up a questionable stew inside a decrepit kitchen.

Elsewhere, the Christmas spirit is conjured with synthetic snowfall along a lonely Victorian-era street, providing a pitch-perfect distraction for even more well-timed scares from the staff of All Saints.

All Saints is populated with young but enthusiastic scareactors, cutting their teeth at the local haunt before potentially going off to bigger scares. Their effusiveness is infectious, making it impossible not to share in their delight, even between screams.

There isn’t much to All Saints because there quite simply doesn’t need to be. The maze is of a decent length, filled with impressive scares, and while the taste of its setting may be admittedly questionable in 2017, the fun being had is as pure as it is frightening, a perfect atmosphere for Christmas chaos.